I’ve learnt that life isn’t fair.
I’ve learnt that even the ones who play different
still have the capacity for great cruelty.
Being the bigger person doesn’t stop the revenge fantasies.
I’ve learnt that things aren’t black and white
I always knew, in truth – but now I know again.
And yet my mind swings like a pendulum
between them both. Black to white and back to black again.
I’ve learnt that when I’m scared
I lose my voice. Shut up tight like a bad mussel.
Clinging to a rock like a clam, for fear of falling off.
A salty, solitary oyster, afraid of standing out in target practice.
But I’ve also learnt that I’m good.
Not at love but yes at love. At loving anyway.
At exclaiming out loud when seeing the landscape as
we turn a corner. At reaching up to touch the leaves overhead.
I’ve learnt that feelings have highs – as well as lows
‘Your problem is you always feel things so deeply’ he once admonished.
But I’d rather feel the prick of the thorn of the rose than never
– ever- know how lucky I am to breathe in its scent.
29 April 2021
What have you learnt about yourself and your practice? What from this four weeks do you want to carry-on? Make a commitment.
My commitment: try to never stop seeing (and writing) the good and the great in being alive, even if sometimes it breaks your heart
Living in SIN 